It's way too late for me to be up, but then again at this point it's shifted back from late to early. Which I was trying to avoid. Because somehow there's not enough hours in the day for all of my doing nothing. It's an odd balance, because I don't know what I want. It's weird trying to get used to living with someone different. With Holly, I could ( Read more... )

If you were going to make a choice on how to spend your Monday, would it be ( Read more... )

Since I last spoke to my mother, things have deteriorated further. On Friday, he began calling my mother's cellphone starting at 6:30AM obsessively demanding that she leave work and take him to the bank to get his "funds", or else he would call his lawyer and the newspapers and ruin her career. (He has neither funds nor a lawyer) He also called up ( Read more... )

So my brother is apparently doing "massive" amounts of cocaine. "Massive" meaning he's been drug tested and he's exceeded the upper level of the test measurement so they're not sure exactly how much he's doing. Also a mystery is where he's getting the money to buy massive amounts of cocaine, but I think we can guess ( Read more... )

So I was going through notebooks and folders to make a nice space for my classes this semester, and I found a page of notes I took for a class last semester. There was about half a page of actual, relevant notes, and then a large block, about 1/4 of the page, where I had written, very neatly in script, "Kill yourself" over and over. I don't ( Read more... )

I am baffled as to why I feel the way I do right now. I was fine two weeks ago, and there haven't been any precipitating events, but it all follows its stupid little schedule like clockwork- first loss of appetite and problems sleeping, then the charming mix of colorful suicidal thoughts and apathy, then the fear of groups of people and the self ( Read more... )

Is there something particular about the beginning of the semester that makes people anxious? Something they spray down Obieland with? Because I'm not particularly nervous about the start of classes (at least I don't think so) but I feel like smashing my head in. Or maybe someone else's. I'm not really sure. It might be because I forgot to take ( Read more... )

Unfortunately, my brother is currently full on psychotic, in the literal sense. This is the worst I've ever seen him, I guess- he's certainly been scarier, but he's full on delusional now. Before, when he did coke or something and got all paranoid his delusions were at least theoretically possible, if highly unlikely. (examples: his girlfriend ( Read more... )

Man, today was absolutely awful. As in, I missed an important class because I was sitting on the floor staring at my backpack for 45 minutes. FOR NO REASON. And I've been crying on and off all day. FOR NO REASON. I really don't want to go to New York tomorrow. Staying with my parents always stresses me out. I don't think I'm capable of acting ( Read more... )

Wow, sleeping for more than 6 hours at a time certainly brings on the wacky dreams. Total bizzaro world ( Read more... )